Our eldest daughter has, tentatively, left the nest. Perhaps unexpectantly as well, perhaps not. She turned 18 in August and has pushed the "I'm 18 now..." card around enough that we shouldn't really be surprised about much of anything.
We raise our kids to be independent thinking people and are surprised when they use their ingrained independence in ways that, well, ways that we might expect them to if we thought about it. This is almost a clique now.
The funny thing is that we have seen our daughter not really respecting our home or family and then we see and hear how she is while at others' homes or at her job. Polite, respectful, cleans up after herself, and considerate to a fault. Is this our daughter? It hardly seems possible.
Regardless, push came to shove one evening and I gave her a few words of wisdom for her to really think about her interactions with her family now and in the future and to show the respect that is due. A day and a half of sulking resulted in her moving out, of course without so much as a word to us about her plans (that darn independent streak rearing it's head). At least she is with family, cousins her in town.
I suppose that my "words of wisdom" may have easily been interpreted as giving her a choice or ultimatum of sorts, an "or else" undertone that was not voiced but could easily have been taken as implied even if it was not consciously intended that way. One thing that I have always been sure of is that what I say is taken seriously. It might appear that what I didn't say was taken just as seriously.
As much as we think that she may come back home, my gut tells me otherwise. She is planning to go to school in the fall in Nova Scotia so she would be moving out sooner of later anyway. This at least gives her the opportunity to practise a level of independence before being on her own all of a sudden. In the long run it is probably a good thing.
Now, what will we do with the extra room?
Jeff.
